Solution Focused Hypnotherapy
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Self-Reliance
Sep 10, 2023

Self-Reliance

A subject that comes up often during therapy sessions is motivation. We need this little magic power-booster for all things big and small in life and are often unaware of how it is quietly sitting in our brains, ticking along and helping us in our daily activities. Yay! Brilliant!

But.... motivation does not just appear out of thin air, it needs to be made - created - born - whatever, and there are a number of ways this can happen. It can come from many wherewithals. For example, confidence, self-worth, love, kindness and all sorts of other wonderful happy hormone-inducing ways of self.

But one thing that has been seeping into my conscious mind, and is so important for me as a therapist to help people to rediscover and build up, is self-reliance..... Having self-reliance means you have the capacity to do the things you want to do without having to check in with anyone else, this leads to confidence and more importantly, helps to achieve your goals. This in turn brings an ENORMOUS dosage of all the happy chemicals we have in our brain to make us feel great...

If you google self-reliance, the first thing that comes up is the late great American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson c.1841, who wrote a well-known essay on the subject, of which he has some points that I like - he explains how life is "learning and forgetting and learning again" . From this, we can allow ourselves mistakes and move on. His essay also focuses on individuality and the importance of thinking for yourself. This can offer the opportunities in order to change and improve and move on and all the rest of it. It helps to provide the space in the brain for us to yield more of those wonderful happy-hormones so to keep us in the most fully-aware state of goodness, happiness, fulfilment etc etc etc.

First and foremost, it’s not about doing everything yourself. Quite the opposite; it is meaningful that we look at what being self-reliant really looks like and how we are able to build it up within ourselves. After all, being yourself is so much easier to do and so much more freeing! We should embrace all our oddities, be able to think independently and express ourselves. Who are we to judge? "Self-sufficiency," Emerson wrote, "gives a person in society the freedom they need to discover one’s true self and attain one’s true independence."

There are some controversies Emerson wrote about, but this is not what I am talking about today (I do like a soapbox). In the context of what I do, I want to encourage and help people to be their own boss, develop confidence and to live a life where they are able to get out and do the things they want to do.

dogThere are so many buzz words thrown around which can reduce the meaning for the "self" words - self-worth, self-love, self-expression etc. They can be a bit repetitive and lose their message. But self-reliance is something that can be so liberating. It can be small changes, and it can be bigger changes, but it can have the same impact for someone and really be beneficial to us and transform our lives.

Self-reliance is clearly linked with self-definition - we can have the strength to stand up for ourselves and be able to speak up on matters which we have previously felt unable to speak on, which in turn builds confidence and integrity, boosting confidence which is the spring board of all spring boards.

Everything in life is linked - physical ➡️ mental ➡️ spiritual, and I understand this more and more, but if we are to improve our self-reliance then we need good, healthy neuroplasticity which will have the knock-on effect of being less stressed, having greater clarity, creating resilience, and this can only lead to a calmer, peaceful and more positive attitude to our lives. It's a win-win.

Like this photo of my dog which gives me all the happy-hormones I could ever need

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Fear of flying & Anxieties: After having a difficult year I decided to try hypnotherapy with Penny and it was the best choice I have made for myself! I'm now able to live more in the moment and have a better understanding of how to cope with or even eliminate my anxieties. I also had 2 sessions dedicated to helping to reduce my phobia of flying which helped me tremendously as I was able to get on a plane again without feeling terrified! Pen is always very positive and relaxed during our sessions and always makes me feel comfortable.

Anxiety/Stress: I went to see Penny as I felt stuck, struggling to cope & unable to move on in life. I had 12 sessions.  I had never really done hypnosis before & really struggled to focus on the words as my mind raced everywhere. Penny reassured me it would still work - which it did. It took a couple of weeks to kick in but I really appreciated the time taken to focus on the issues & Penny's positive attitude really filtered through. Slowly my positivity increased, the overthinking eased off & my sleep improved. This allowed me to problem-solve & plan more changes to make. It was like moving a large rock - once we got it moving progress started to happen & towards the last few sessions things started to speed up. I would recommend Penny to anyone who feels overwhelmed or near a crisis point.

Pain: I had 12 hypnotherapy sessions with Penny. The hypnosis was relaxing & reviving and seemed to link with my subconscious & bring me back to positive feelings. I still use the audio which acts as a kick-start if doubts start seeping in. I also found Penny's voice calming & reassuring. I have no reservations in recommending Penny. I liked her honesty in what the therapy could offer. I have been very happy with the outcome of the hypnotherapy.

Stop Smoking: Both myself and my husband decided it was time to stop smoking. My husband had smoked 20+ a day for 35 years and I had also smoked on and off for years. We can both honestly say we have never felt better thanks to Penny, she made us feel comfortable and was very reassuring, after just one appointment we were smoke-free.  We are now looking forward to extra holidays with the money we have saved and also stress free knowing we can travel and not worry about going without a cigarette.

Stress Buster/Body Image: Pen has helped me massively increase my resilience to stress. Tasks which seemed ongoing and impossible became doable. While work may still be stressful, the speed with which I bounce back is great and has allowed me to put in boundaries, both personal and professional. It has increased my self-confidence and assertiveness and has improved my sleep patterns so much. Penny has also taken me through several weight-loss sessions from which I am feeling the benefits and feel now that I am in the right place to start an exercise regimen and take control of my fitness.

Sleep Issues: I was slightly sceptical over hypnotherapy, probably because I was frightened of being made to do something I didn't want to. But my sleeping was all over the place and I'm a constant worrier, so thought I'd give it a go - I am so pleased with how relaxed I felt and how my sleeping has improved. I feel much calmer now and can rationalise things better than before. I thoroughly recommend it to anyone with for a variety of problems or habits, and Pen's voice is greatly comforting when I listen to the recording when going to sleep. I know I can come for a top-up whenever I need to.

Public Speaking: I wanted to try hypnotherapy in order to deal with the anxiety I experience before speaking in public. My sessions with Pen have helped me reduce this in such a short amount of time it is really unbelievable how effective they’ve been. I now feel calm and focused and those waves of panic that tripped me up before talking in public have entirely gone away. I can’t stress enough how effective these sessions with Pen have been. She is calm and an intuitive listener who instantly puts you at ease. I wouldn’t think twice about recommending her sessions to anyone.

I would highly recommend Penny for helping and supporting anyone suffering with anxiety. My son Louie was suffering from panic attacks and it was heartbreaking watching him missing out on having fun with his friends because of a general fear something was going to happen. Penny was recommended to us by a friend who’s daughter was suffering from anxiety and was attending sessions with Penny to tackle this and couldn’t talk highly enough of her. So we thought it must be worth a try. Louie started having sessions with Penny and the difference was amazing, he started being more confident and less panicky and slowly started getting back to his usual happy go lucky self, which was a joy to see. I’m sure anyone who has a child, family member or friend that suffers from this realises how stressful this situation can be on a day to day basis. So get in touch with Penny, it could change your life.

Penny, thinking just how bad she was and how far she has come! I have no doubt in my mind that if anyone else’s child is suffering then you are the person to help! We are so thankful.

Hypnotherapy.... The final piece of the puzzle that completed and transformed my life. Amazing!

I had hypnotherapy to help me with my anxiety and depression and honestly, it changed my life for the better. I was in a place where I thought there was no escape from these feelings. However, hypnotherapy turned things around for me greatly. My OCD has also died down massively and it has also helped me through the very rough time at school. I'm extremely grateful for Pen's clear and kind understanding and I strongly recommend this to anyone who is having these similar feelings as well, as it will change your life for the better